What Is the Drama Triangle?

This key concept is the source of much workplace conflict and the reason why too many promising businesses — and people — fall short of their potential.

Ever wonder why things go wrong at work?

Even with a top-notch team. Even with tons of planning and prep. Even with the best intentions.

Conflict occurs and suddenly all that talent and good will is out the window. All that shining potential somehow devolves into fear, furor, and finger pointing.

What happened?

In many cases, it’s because the operation has fallen into a common dynamic known as the Drama Triangle. The term was coined in the 1960s by psychiatrist Stephen Karpman and since then it’s become a foundational concept in the business world as well as a cornerstone of the Conscious Leadership Group.

A Drama Triangle runs on toxic fear, the stubborn need to be right, and an overall victim consciousness. It shunts people into one of three roles: hero, villain, victim. From there, it’s a struggle where people are either one-up or one-down in relation to each other, with the roles often shifting as the conflict plays out.

Once this dynamic emerges, the outcomes are predictable. Temporary solutions that don’t address the core issues. Entrenched ideas that keep everyone stuck and stagnant. In other words, it’s a death knell for growth-minded businesses and creative endeavors of all kinds.

But just as every point has a counterpoint, the Drama Triangle has an opposing concept that, when applied, is like kryptonite to the stress and strife.

It’s presence.

Where presence is prioritized, the Drama Triangle roles transform from obstacles into opportunities. The victim becomes a creator. The villain becomes a challenger. The hero becomes a coach. Fingers stop pointing. Blame stops in its tracks. New possibilities start flowing. Fun even enters the equation.

Leading from presence, rather than from the Drama Triangle, can make or break a meeting, a project, a business. And this kind of intentional leadership starts at the very top of an organization.

That’s why this approach is at the heart of my work as an executive coach. The first step is creating awareness of the Drama Triangle, so you can consciously choose presence and set the stage for energized, aligned, and off-the-charts creative work from your team and yourself.